Jane Karen lived in the suburban village of Ocean Garden located in Cape Elizabeth, Maine. Every house looked the same. Two red brick chimneys, identical mailboxes, and driveways filled with Consumer Reports’ top recommendations. At the end of the cul-de-sac, Jane resided by herself. She had no husband, no kids, and she never had any social gatherings.
On Sunday afternoons, the ladies of Ocean Garden, excluding Jane, gathered for their weekly croquet and gossip session, which included many drinks. Heather and Rhonda always used matching mallets with a pink stripe around the base. The two women have been friends since high school where they bonded over having others envy them. Physically at their peaks, socially unstoppable, and metabolisms at all-time highs; the girls ruled the school. Now, they ruled Ocean Garden with nicely manicured fists.
Rhonda was a brunette and carried some extra weight due to her affinity for wine. She married Rick, a local real-estate mogul who sold homes mostly in Ocean Garden or similar neighborhoods. Heather, also a brunette, collects settlement checks from her divorce.
“I wonder what ‘Plain Old Jane’ is doing today” Rhonda said in a rhetorical tone. As Heather was hitting the ball she chuckled.
“I can’t believe you’d make me laugh during my turn! We both know she’s probably sewing or playing with her cats. What else does she have to do? No friends. No husband. No Croquet.”
“HA! What’s the point of living?” Rhonda said in what she thought to be a sarcastic tone with a touch of seriousness. “Ooo! Remember John?” Rhonda asked with excitement. “Which one?” responded Heather as she peered at the other women huddled by the table drinking freshly made mimosas. “The football player.” “Oh! The one with the pickup truck!” “Yeah, that one. He would take me to ‘Lover’s Leap’ to look out at the stars.” Heather laughed and said “I do not think you two did much star gazing.” “I was gazing at him does that not count?” Rhonda said. Heather had a look of curiosity on her face. Rhonda noticed and told her that she did not look pretty when she was perplexed. Heather thanked her for the honesty and said “Well, I was just feeling bad for Jane. I mean what is life like for her? She never had a John that took her to Lover’s Leap when all the other girls wanted him to. She does not have a husband now and she works from home. Her life is sad. She has no connections to the world.” The two women walked away from the other residents of Ocean Garden and went for a stroll of their own as they dropped the mallets and set down their glasses, which now contained nothing but a few ice cubes and a plastic umbrella, where they stood. They decided to walk to the Cul-de-sac where Jane’s home was. They both agreed that she needs to hire a new lawn mowing service because her grass was above the 1.5-inch limit Ocean Garden set. Heather took pride in enforcing this particular rule as she made it before the neighborhood decided that she was not fit for her job on the neighborhood beautification committee. They told her that she cared too much and they did not want to cause her emotional stress.
As the two women made the turn around the cul-de-sac with their eyes locked onto Jane’s home, Jane took an awkward waddle side step out her door facing her backyard.
“There she is!” Rhonda whispered with excitement.
Without planning, the two socialites scurried to a car parked on the side of the road pretending to inspect it. In actuality, they were observing the dull and boring Jane. As Jane turned around, now facing the road, she clicked the button to unlock her 2006 Prius that she received much flack for.
“Look at what she’s wearing!” Heather said.
The two women peered down at the car noticing their reflections in the window momentarily losing interest in Jane before she reached the end of the driveway and turned down the cul-de-sac.
“Let’s check out her house” Rhonda said excitedly.
“Oh! Good idea” Heather agreed, as the two women carefully ascended the freshly paved driveway, while feeling the effects from the morning’s mimosas, to the home of Plain Old Jane.
Jane’s home was a subtle yellow with two red brick chimneys, big bay windows, and had gardens lining the base of the home filled with Pansies and Roses. The women would see Jane gardening from time to time and would comment on how pretentious it was for her to do her own gardening. Summers in Maine would get hot but you could always count on a cool breeze, especially in towns like Cape Elizabeth near the ocean. Heather and Rhonda did not do many outdoor activities but were exceptionally good at lying on the beach drinking Sangrias together after years of practice.
Heather leaned up against the window with her hands bridging the gap between her forehead and the glass, creating a visor over her eyes to block out the sun. Inside, Heather noticed a long haired black cat turn the corner and walk towards the invisible barrier separating them.
“Who gets a black cat?” she asked.
Rhonda chuckled at her friend’s comment and joined her in peering into Jane’s home. The cat was now perched on the windowsill lifting up its right paw and gently dragging its pink pads down the glass. “Rhonda, I think the cat wants to come outside.” “Well, we have to let it out then. I mean, we are residents of Ocean Garden. It’s the neighborly thing to do.” Heather questioned if this was an outdoor cat but they both agreed they were doing Jane a favor by introducing the outdoors to the cat, after all it would be cruel to be trapped in your own little world. They discovered that the door was locked but they refused to give up. Heather wandered around the back looking for a way in while Rhonda began trying to push the window up. The plastic lock broke and fell to the floor. “What was that?” Heather asked as she walked back to the front of the house. “I don’t know, but the window is open” Rhonda answered. The black cat jumped outside, curiously tilted its head in the air taking in its surroundings, and sniffed the grass before hearing a noise and jolting away. “I’m glad we saved the cat. Are you curious to what’s inside?” Heather asked “You were wondering what her life was like.” Rhonda looked at her friend, the window, back to her friend and said “It is our neighborly duty. I mean, we don’t know what she’s like. It’s for Ocean Garden. It’s like we have to.” “I totally agree.”
The two women began to lift up the window as high as it could go. A cat was one thing, but it was no easy task for the two middle aged women to crawl through the opening. Rhonda decided that she wanted to be the first one in. She awkwardly bent her leg into the window and began hopping on her other leg still outside as she lost her balance and fell “Damn!” she said as she hit the ground. She decided to go in head first on the second attempt and Heather tried to make a comedic remark that she thought was witty about using your head. Rhonda squirmed through the window and fell inside knocking over a small table next to the window and the picture frames that were on it. Heather, slightly skinnier, managed to get in through the window with more ease.
The two women now stood in Jane’s Great room that they decided was not so great. It had hardwood floors, a chandelier decorated with rope from a sail boat, large brown bookshelves filled with novels, a decorative anchor over the mantel, and a sitting area which contained a leather couch and two chairs. One of the chairs had white scruff marks on it from lots of use and had a small table with a lamp next to it with a single novel on it with a white silk ribbon dangling out of the middle.
“So, this is the house of Plain Old Jane, huh?” Rhonda said as she inspected the books on the shelves.
“It’s very nautical. It’s kind of nice” said Heather.
“Yeah if you have terrible taste” Rhonda replied.
“Well, I would never design my home this way of course. I meant it was kind of nice for Plain Old Jane.” Said Heather.
The two suburban investigators walked into the kitchen and began checking out what was in the drawers below the granite topped island. Rhonda noticed in the corner a freestanding wine rack “Check it out, Jane has a wild side!” “Who knew Jane had it in her. But who does she drink with?” Rhonda began examining the wine selection and decided it was best if her and Heather helped Jane finish some of the wine. If you could become a professional wine drinker, then Rhonda would have a career. She found pride in her tolerance for the red liquid and would always bring a bottle or two to every get together in Ocean Garden.
After a couple glasses of wine and a gossip session in Jane’s kitchen, Rhonda decided it was time to explore Jane’s bedroom to see how she really was. Heather’s balance was off after couple glasses of Dark Horse Cabernet. She dropped her freshly poured glass while walking up the stairs for it to leave red sugary residue dripping down the stairs “Whoops” Heather said laughing as she continued stumbling up the steps.
Peeking their head into every door until they found the one that was Jane’s room. Jane’s bedroom was similar to her Great room. It was filled with books, a nautical theme, and a full-sized bed with a light blue spread.
“Where’s the television?” Heather asked. Rhonda walked over to Jane’s varnished wooden bureau. On top of the bureau was a framed photo of Jane and a man in army fatigues at what looked to be an airport. In the photo, Jane’s curly black hair draped over her boney shoulders where the strap from her simple white tank top rested. Below the tank top she wore a black skirt and sandals. “Jane has terrible style here” Rhonda said. Heather was busy opening up a small soft white cabinet that contained Temptations cat treats, an unopened bottle of moisturizing lotion, and a package of hair ties. “Nothing exciting in here” Heather said. Next to the photo, was a black urn with John engraved in it, Rhonda moved the urn to see another photo of Jane and this man, except this time the two were on a sail boat. “I guess Jane has a secret lover, huh?” Rhonda said as she began opening the drawers to see Jane’s wardrobe. This intrigued Heather and she joined her. The women spent a few moments looking through Jane’s clothes; berating her choices throughout the process. Heather found a black sequined blouse and began holding up to her own torso imagining how it would look on her. Rhonda noticed this and said “Jane garb, ugh”
“I kind of like it” Heather said still examining the blouse.
“I want it” Rhonda said.
Heather, now looking at her friend, stated that she found it first; it was hers. Rhonda tried to grab it but Heather had a firm grip on it. The two women began tugging at each end of the blouse trying to secure it for themselves. During the skirmish, Rhonda stepped back and yanked hard bringing Heather along with the blouse right into the bureau knocking over the frame and breaking the urn behind the bureau with a cloud of dust filling the air. “Ew! Jane needs to hire someone to use a swifter!” Heather was more focused on the blouse still in hand.
Rhonda noticed and said “fine, you can have it. But it’ll show off your love handles.” Before Heather could respond a noise came from down stairs.
“It’s Jane!” Rhonda said.
The two women scurried around the bedroom looking for a place to hide but ended up bickering about who could go where. Jane noticed the open window and began hollering “Leo, Leo! Where are you?”
Jane’s search took her upstairs. She now had a sense of urgency in her step and began calling for her cat every few seconds. “What are we going to do?” Heather asked. Rhonda was trying to brain storm when Jane hollered “Hello? Is anyone there?” “Shoot! She knows we’re here!” exclaimed Heather. Jane appeared in the doorway, shocked to find the two socialites of Ocean Garden standing in her bedroom.
“Heather. Rhonda? Is that my… wait, what’re you two doing here?” Jane said angrily.
“We were concerned with the treatment of your pets, Rhonda slurred indignantly. We want to report you to the neighborhood council for neglect towards your animals” Rhonda answered. Heather had a look of approval on her face from her friend’s comment because she would not have been able to think of that response so quickly.
“You know where Leo is?” Jane demanded. “What the fuck are you doing in my bedroom?” Heather wanted to be quick like her friend so she blurted out “Checking up on your life. We want to make sure you’re not hiding something,” thinking that might be too vague, she added “You didn’t come to my pool party last week.”
Jane ignored Heather and asked “You went through my stuff?” Jane noticed the open bureau drawers and the knocked over frame. She walked closer and noticed the broken urn and tears began to well up in her eyes. “John…” she whispered.
Rhonda began a rant about how dusty her room was and it was a health violation, “The neighborhood holds its residents to a certain standard and you’re not meeting it.” Jane clutched the simple brown purse over her shoulder. Her legs began to quiver underneath her yellow floral summer dress.
“You bitch” Jane said without turning around.
“Excuse me?” Rhonda asserted with her hands now on each of her hips and elbows extended outward.
“I will not be talked to this way from someone like you.”
Jane now turned around with an aggressive finger extended towards the two women, “Get out! Get out! Get out! You have ruined… it’ gone…”
Heather began questioning if she should take off the blouse but before she could do so Jane began crying.
“Oh great. She’s crying” Rhonda said. Jane moaned “out you’ve ruined everything for me.”
“Ha, what is everything? I only spilled a glass of wine” Heather stated.
“My life” said Jane.
“What life is that?” asked Rhonda.
“My life…” said Jane as she sniffled.
“Let’s get out of here” Heather replied. The two women walked past Jane as she began crying more heavily and fell to her knees.
Once outside, the two women began walking down the driveway “God, it’s just a cat…” Rhonda said “That is no way to talk to us, especially coming from Plain Old Jane.” Heather agreed and the two women began discussing their plans for the weekend as the sound of a siren grew in the distance.